I am a nobody
as i belong no where
this strong wind
brought me this far away
I am insignificant
dun deny it please
u forgot our promise
u left me behind
I am a loner
but you disgust me
whatever i do is wrong
i do not understand it
I am forgotten
each day i lose myself more n more
i am the loser
the loser is me
Friday, July 27
Tuesday, July 24
sigh.. it's jus a bad bad day...
all in all, the main point here is about this tragic incident of mine.. haha, not that nostalgic actually.. but it is in fact, embarassing la.. aiyoyo...
today was formal day, so i wore heels.. n while descending the stairs in uni, i slipped n slid down the stairs..no, not anythin like fell at all.. it's like my waist hit the stairs n i slid all the way to the bottom..till i hit the bottom, precisely.. n immediately, i felt my waist burnin, elbow too, it scratched the stairs.. sadisticly speaking, there were many ppl around.. n my friend was in such a horror that she couldn't speak till 5 mins after she hold me up..ppl in front were tryin to help me, but when i was sliding, they of course, hafta get out of my way... sigh..this is indeed a painful n embarassing day.. as i wore specs n tied my hair today, i'm nvr gonna wear specs while tying my hair till two weeks later.. jus in case anyone recognised me.. i sure don't want anyone whispering:neh, that's the girl who fell terribly the other day.. no no no..
nite nite ^^
today was formal day, so i wore heels.. n while descending the stairs in uni, i slipped n slid down the stairs..no, not anythin like fell at all.. it's like my waist hit the stairs n i slid all the way to the bottom..till i hit the bottom, precisely.. n immediately, i felt my waist burnin, elbow too, it scratched the stairs.. sadisticly speaking, there were many ppl around.. n my friend was in such a horror that she couldn't speak till 5 mins after she hold me up..ppl in front were tryin to help me, but when i was sliding, they of course, hafta get out of my way... sigh..this is indeed a painful n embarassing day.. as i wore specs n tied my hair today, i'm nvr gonna wear specs while tying my hair till two weeks later.. jus in case anyone recognised me.. i sure don't want anyone whispering:neh, that's the girl who fell terribly the other day.. no no no..
nite nite ^^
Monday, July 16
OMDG...Give Me A Break...
TIRED...are the five letters non-stop running through my head...of all things, i hafta sleep after two again..haven't slept any earlier for a week adey.. n i'm really very very tired, to the point that i could cry...
firstly, would like to mention abit about my appeal to local uni.. UM called me to offer me Biochem.. oo, how good is that? mom was super happy.. again.. she was also happy when i decided to get into UTAR..now i've got such a short period of time till 20th to decide whether to accept this offer...again, mom would really want me to.. me, after going through difficulties of adapting, is a bit in a phobia state right now..i better think thrice..
n then.. i came back on sat, right at the moment i finished my exam, mom called me to tell me she would pick me, early.. am very very happy.. we ate nandos! xiu hui, our fav of all times..that nite.. went steamboat as an occassion to celebrate wei wen's bday.. wasnt suppose to come back this week, but want to n did to.. for him.. haha..well, i'm glad it turned out well, havent laughed that much in a very long time..thanks eugene.. again..know u would start helpin me less in the future as i'm startin to get annoyin d, but very very thankful indeed for all u've done to help me..really..
but after all, i'm such a failure.. everythin done by me, fails pathetically.. man, i'm a real loser..remembered the mornin of the day b4 my exam the most..i already have cuts on me everyday for being careless, there're plaster on me all the time, each time at a diff place.. n i could just spilled my last cup of milk that mornin.. not to mention that i have no other food left,the spilt milk got over all the drawers.. i wiped damn long a time*cursing myself as well*..i feel so stupid, with such insufficient time to study, i could jus so smartly waste more time *triple smack on my head* thanks karl alot, for making me laugh at that moment, curing my tears and distracting me from my frustrations..and also mr.naughty boy, for letting me throw the temper and yell at you..it helped alot too <3
spent half a day of sunday for my future entertainments.. uploading stuffs into my thumbdrive to be brought back..a relaxed sunday..was startin to feel lucky n happy again..went for wey yiing's bday celebration then.. i felt happy indeed, after all, i couldnt really trust anyone at uni..it was different..i felt so home wit secondary frens..=) however, felt very bad as i promised to acocmpany mom to eat durians in ss2 at 9.. but only to reach home at 10.30..the stalls were closing, n we could only grab three packets of it back..spent such little time wit mom already, and i could jus break another promise, sigh
well, as i have been suspecting, luck does not stand on my side.. how could i be this happy? n it did came..mom fell in the toilet..i was in shock when she told me that she felt her rib bone in a weird position..but i tried to stay calm, except that i'm such an asshole with no patience that i sternly speaked to her when she complained too much..i really couldn't control..i was already so tired..me n sis rushed her to damansara specialist hospital...many weird things flashed through my mind on the way there.. 99% of them are stupid stuffs..biggest part of it, regreting not spending more time wit mom..part of the 99%, thinkin of stayin single for the rest of my life if anythin happens to mom..
doctore said it was a fracture of the rib bone, thank god that it would heal itself..jus hafta be really careful..was panicking b4 this about wat if there has to be a surgery..by the time we got back, it was already two..after that shock, i jus hafta talk to someone.. n i couldnt..that's where this blog came into place.. as i've said b4, it's really my best friend..i could think of many names to talk to.. but none fitted into the slot..i wanted to cry, just to relieve myself, but it wouldve frighten my family..hmm..
although stress din end this weekend, but meeting these two days, is really a very happy thing indeed, that's exactly what i needed.. seriously but weirdly, i'm very touched for u guys made me laugh this much..i feel nostalgic everytime i thought bout it..thank you ppl
shucks,i still have law homework, after the exam on sat.. wonderin if i could survive that another uni week starts tomolo again..hope i could get more rest this week..Buddha please bless me..
firstly, would like to mention abit about my appeal to local uni.. UM called me to offer me Biochem.. oo, how good is that? mom was super happy.. again.. she was also happy when i decided to get into UTAR..now i've got such a short period of time till 20th to decide whether to accept this offer...again, mom would really want me to.. me, after going through difficulties of adapting, is a bit in a phobia state right now..i better think thrice..
n then.. i came back on sat, right at the moment i finished my exam, mom called me to tell me she would pick me, early.. am very very happy.. we ate nandos! xiu hui, our fav of all times..that nite.. went steamboat as an occassion to celebrate wei wen's bday.. wasnt suppose to come back this week, but want to n did to.. for him.. haha..well, i'm glad it turned out well, havent laughed that much in a very long time..thanks eugene.. again..know u would start helpin me less in the future as i'm startin to get annoyin d, but very very thankful indeed for all u've done to help me..really..
but after all, i'm such a failure.. everythin done by me, fails pathetically.. man, i'm a real loser..remembered the mornin of the day b4 my exam the most..i already have cuts on me everyday for being careless, there're plaster on me all the time, each time at a diff place.. n i could just spilled my last cup of milk that mornin.. not to mention that i have no other food left,the spilt milk got over all the drawers.. i wiped damn long a time*cursing myself as well*..i feel so stupid, with such insufficient time to study, i could jus so smartly waste more time *triple smack on my head* thanks karl alot, for making me laugh at that moment, curing my tears and distracting me from my frustrations..and also mr.naughty boy, for letting me throw the temper and yell at you..it helped alot too <3
spent half a day of sunday for my future entertainments.. uploading stuffs into my thumbdrive to be brought back..a relaxed sunday..was startin to feel lucky n happy again..went for wey yiing's bday celebration then.. i felt happy indeed, after all, i couldnt really trust anyone at uni..it was different..i felt so home wit secondary frens..=) however, felt very bad as i promised to acocmpany mom to eat durians in ss2 at 9.. but only to reach home at 10.30..the stalls were closing, n we could only grab three packets of it back..spent such little time wit mom already, and i could jus break another promise, sigh
well, as i have been suspecting, luck does not stand on my side.. how could i be this happy? n it did came..mom fell in the toilet..i was in shock when she told me that she felt her rib bone in a weird position..but i tried to stay calm, except that i'm such an asshole with no patience that i sternly speaked to her when she complained too much..i really couldn't control..i was already so tired..me n sis rushed her to damansara specialist hospital...many weird things flashed through my mind on the way there.. 99% of them are stupid stuffs..biggest part of it, regreting not spending more time wit mom..part of the 99%, thinkin of stayin single for the rest of my life if anythin happens to mom..
doctore said it was a fracture of the rib bone, thank god that it would heal itself..jus hafta be really careful..was panicking b4 this about wat if there has to be a surgery..by the time we got back, it was already two..after that shock, i jus hafta talk to someone.. n i couldnt..that's where this blog came into place.. as i've said b4, it's really my best friend..i could think of many names to talk to.. but none fitted into the slot..i wanted to cry, just to relieve myself, but it wouldve frighten my family..hmm..
although stress din end this weekend, but meeting these two days, is really a very happy thing indeed, that's exactly what i needed.. seriously but weirdly, i'm very touched for u guys made me laugh this much..i feel nostalgic everytime i thought bout it..thank you ppl
shucks,i still have law homework, after the exam on sat.. wonderin if i could survive that another uni week starts tomolo again..hope i could get more rest this week..Buddha please bless me..
Tuesday, July 10
Haven’t had an emo blog since dunno how long ago.. but couldn’t help it..now that I’m out here alone, I really dun have anyone to turn to..feelin exceptionally lonely when the person I lean on jus threw it on me..hating myself jus doesn’t help much.. but cant refrain from it..really feelin very lonely..and this is pms expecting time frame..this is wat happens when u depend on someone too much..small tempers from me is being hated already.. and you really succeeded in making me feel super bad after the bad tempers..it scares me that ppl here that u couldn’t trust depends on u, while those u depend on gets annoyed of u..wat should I do? Question mark..
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