I like people very easily
especially those who tell me jokes, make me laugh
or tease me but praise me in the end
or treat me nice, makes me feel like i'm cared for
but when none of that happens,
n i see more of someone else who does all of that
i don't know how to maintain the like feeling anymore
i totally understand your situation
but its hard for me to accept it emotionally
startin to feel more that i dun suite being in a relationship
I don't know how to be that understanding
Thus i don't deserve someone like that,
whom will be with me through thick or thin
whom is too good for me..
You don't know what i want, I don't know it too..
this feeling, is utmostly frustrating
i miss that peaceful calm mood i used to have
whenever it rains
Now, everytime it rains
The noise of it just causes pure irritation and frustration
I am childish, and i'm not goin to deny it
But growing up, makes me feel like i'm not supposed to
like its wrong to be lik dat
but i AM lik dat, isit wrong to be myself?
facing books for too long a time in the past Nov & Dec
has caused me this identity crisis
I've lost my senses
I've lost my life direction, my goal
I dun even noe wat i like or want anymore
I would spend hours picking something to wear
spend years deciding on whether to buy this or that
and get totally lost in any shopping mall
Who am I? Whats my style? What am i supposed to be?
What do i want to be? Where should i be? What should i be doing?
Lots of crazy questions critically crashing my brain system
I start to doubt everything i do, and everything else around me
At this stage, LOST is the word for me
and i don't know where to start, to find my way back..
Even my younger sister kept complaining about me
like why have i became lik dat
Now that i can't help her with her decisions anymore
I used to be so clear n firm with my thoughts and opinions
Now that i don't have any, I sway in rhythm of wat others say
and it feels HORRIBLE to be lik dat
Why shud earth accomodate me when i'm not anything anymore?
Don't worry, i'm not giving up..
Luckily there's friends and internet to help me
I'm like starting anew, taking into consideration others' opinions
to judge mine, not too much, but not none
I'm redefining myself..
but its gonna be quite hard on the life direction part
for one thing, i'm keeping the childish side of me =p
