My Bday ^^ Part 2

Curve was damn packed! and dangerous as many groups of ppl with sprayers are lurking everywhere..

The moment i met them, they presented to me two fine tops and commanded me to put it on in da toilet right away.. As See yun is so stern, i did as i was told.. haha.. but very very quickly, we left Curve for a secret mission *evil grins*

To play Wii at Wey Yiing's hse!!!

To any soul out there that doesnt noe wat a Wii is, all questions shall be answered after watchin this video (Sigh, Karl, i might as well put it on my blog since it's all over facebook already) :

First, log into facebook, and click this
(and this is only one of out 3 videos *embarassed*)

To those who didn't understand the last part of the video, i accidentally banged Wey Yiing's controlers together.. So SRY Wey Yiing *regretful face*


Pictures are comin up soon.. waiting for DK hehe.. love his camera more n more each day..how i wish he could be more like his camera.. =p

My Bday ^^ Part 1

i shall start from the dinner b4 my bday..we were suppose to try jogoya at starhill.. the one suzz was promoting in her blog.. budden it was fullhouse for that few days.. So, hafta go for other alternatives loh.. In the end, we went for Jap food (of course lah) at Sri hartamas as we heard there are plenty at that area.. Hmm.. But the food was Okay oni lah..my tummy was bloated after that meal though, hehe..

The next day, Is my BuRstDay! i had lunch wit my ex-boss, colleagues and Submarine at 'The Ship'..But i think, it's not that good either.. i personally think that the steak my mom cooked for me was much much much more yummier! Never gonna eat there ever again..After Lunch, me n beeky (beeky= submarine) went with kien hou n wei wen to School to collect our STPM certe.. I was reminded with how badly i did in that exam, how awful..Nevertheless, we immediately put the certes aside, and continued on our journey to the west..

After picking up Ivan, we went 1u aimlessly..Reachin there in fact make all of us more lost, we dun even noe wat to do there.. and so, we jus simply go for two rounds of fusball..well, it's not that good a game, 'i' lost both games terribly.. dun mention it..

Fast forwarding the day, we then went 'Wong Kok Cha Chan Teng' to try it's legendary birthday drink.. Weirdly, to order this drink, there are two terms to be fulfilled..

Number one : there muz be minimum 6 ppl (there's oni 5 of us, so i got my sis to sit around
while we order haha)

Number two:Muz order things more minimum 30 bucks (and so we calculated so accurately =p)

While anxiously waiting.. I manage to force Beeky to take my adorable pictured =pp


Me, my two scissors signs and wei wen

This food's name ends with 'Ham Bao' (canton) haha

Me one scissors sign & Ivan's toast

Look carefully, the main characters here are not the special mayo-sausages, but the unique alignment of the utensils, each representing a human character present there =S



Ahh... our young hearts couldn't resist the temptation to have some fun hehe..


And Ta-Da!!! there stood the beauty.. honestly, it's really huge...


Me pretending to be sipping it... hehe

Me & wen wen sipping it =p

U dun noe how much we got through to finish this.. for more details, pls read Beeky's blog instead hehe

And this! is a new kinda food from all of us.. it's called the garbage cup.. haha.. u get it =)


The mess we created..Eww.. lookin back makes me wana puke..=S

Imagine, we move these junks around to diff poses while sitting there, so dirty hor!

After all this mess, we went bowling! (trying to make it sound fun)
I dun really enjoy bowling actually since i've been at the last position like for lets say, 5 times in a row? And unbelievably, i lost again that evening, by one mark to Beeky.. (other ppl's marks were like double ours) haha.. So dun be too proud ya beeky! the next time, u wun be winning so easily! *evil grins*

And then.. i rush rush rush rush rush rush rush (that's how rush i were) back home and went out again wit my familia to eat dinner.. We ate Korean food at Section 14 'Da Chaeng Gum' Love it!hehe..

But after dinner, carrying my bloated tummy, i rush rush rush rush rush rush rush rush rush to Curve to meet up with Djian frens! it was soo jam and they had been waiting for me since 9.30 i was soooo panicked.. i managed to reach at 11 *heh*

And that's when My Bday ^^ Part 2 comes in..

to be continued...

Regrets...

At this point of my life, I'm declaring three silly regrets of mine..

Firstly, I regret for never throwing a birthday party

Secondly, I regret for not traveling within these three long hol months, as they might never come again

Thirdly, I regret for the many overestimated hopes i've ever had, as they are the cause to my great disappointment now

Oh, one thing i'm happy, i bought a new shoe yesterday... I hope it lasts...

Goodnite =)

Meti's second tag...

8random facts about myself

- i'm afraid of almost every single breathing creature in the universe (you name it)
- i can't cook very well (am classifying maggie cup as cooking)
- i spend 90% of my time thinking of something, rather than taking action doing it
- i dislike chocolates
- i don't favor shopping
- i hate every single dish or food that has the 'bean' component in it
- when i'm very tired, i grind my teeth while asleep
- i fall asleep very easily (once, right after dinner while holding my cup)

the 9th fact is, i finished this very very very fast ^^

Wait

Wait.. I feel like i can blog more.. hehe.. hmm.. maybe more about myself this time?
lately, i dun really like many songs, but i noe i'm really fond of jay's 'wo bu pei'.. I can listen to it again, n again, n again etc. haha..it gives me goosebumps..i have weird missing something feeling everytime i listen to it, but wat am i missing? that i duno.. So, i really enjoy listening to it.. pondering over what is that mysterious thing, and twirling up old memories.. Ahh... still couldnt figure out wats it though..hmm..

If out next topic is about movies, guess our conversation can go on for a very long time..I've watched many *Big Grin* from Golden Compass till I Am Legend, u name it! wahaha.. duno since when i have tis weird obsession towards movies.. Guess is since there's fat pig to watch them with me.. =p But i hafta say, among ALL, I love Stardust best! It's the exact kind of movie i like to watch.. Can ask my sis how much i hunt for such movies on HBO hehe.. But alas, i missed the front part, regret...Golden compass is like a huge disappointment to me man.. not interesting at all! aiyoyo...

So fast 21st d.. hmm.. am getting abit panicky now.. =S cya

Yippie!!!

YAY!!! today's my last day at work! very very glad that it ended.. although this is a good job, but i'd love sleeping till noon and hanging out around a million times more than working!

Hmm.. but honestly, am feeling slightly uneasy, more like afraid? cause i'm sort of afraid to go back to Sungai Long.. I hafta admit that those three months was the most lonely time i ever had so far in my life..

















SIGH.. after so many working experiences, i am really seriously doubting this course.. but it's all TOO late, isn't it? Jus pray that i WILL pass my CIMA exams..

Anyway.. Fun! yeah i wana have loads of fun from now on! i wana do something! anything! everything! Feel like i've really wasted my hols.. for the something new i wana possess, i hafta sacrifice my precious vacation trip this hols, SIGH..

GoodBye
And Hello

So ppl! please do me a favor! Ask me out!!! I dun wana regret not hanging out enuf in this three months long hols... OK?

Okay.. so, to stop Meti from killing me, i'm gonna do her tag:

LIST OUT THE TOP 5 PRESENTS YOU WISH FOR:
* a vacation that consist of breathtaking sceneries
* I dun hafta do this course anymore
* Fresh new wardrobe
* A birthday party
* Happiness for everybody (me in priority =p)

LIST OUT THE REASONS FOR YOUR CHOICES:
* Have the urge2go&throw my heart's rubbish somewhere b4 i start anew
* I dun wana be so lonely
* Dun wana be called an AUNTIE no more
* I miss laughing loudly with everyone
* I want to smile desperately & i'm sure others wants too

THE PERSON WHO TAGG-ED YOU IS: METI

5 IMPRESSIONS OF HIM/HER:
* Always 'pijaking' me
* Always naughty
* Brave
* Actively mischievious
* A Caring and good fren =)

MOST MEMORABLE THINGS HE/SHE HAS DONE FOR YOU:
Hit the lrt door with her hand so that i can enter in time when i was blurly being left outside the lrt.. HEHE

MOST LOVED INVENTION (does not need to be technologically advanced)
Lights =) (am afraid of the dark u see)

WHAT DO YOU DESPISE THE MOST:
Fakers, Unfair destiny of myself & ppl + sighly speaking, my bad attitude

TA-DA! done! so dun kill me d lah meti..
OK that's all for today.. cya guys! P.S. call me ar! =p

Status Update

Unhappy : 98%

Mom lost my agency statement, now i cant tally how much of pay i should receive! Now there's gonna be somethin on my mind that i haven't settled forever!
(Confirmed : i'm stucked in this course, please forgive me ppl)


Happy : 2%

1Utama called me to apologize!
I watched 'Stardust' last Sunday and it's Awesome!


Regrets : 1

I missed the front part of 'Stardust' =(

不顺利...

Today's a not so good day for me, as i woke up with my ears so painful..i caught flu n had sorethroat few days ago..n then my ear start to hurt.. tot it would cease few days later, who knows at this third day, it hurts like i had a tumor in my ear.. CHOI!so.. my mom brought me immediately to UH, Universiti Hospital lohh.. cause she say that's the best she can get at he workin hour, see other clinic n we hafta pay, so.. OK! as long as i get my ear cured..

i didnt hafta wait long at all.. very fast it was my turn at the EnT specialist in UH..the doctor looked into my ear abit, and said..' i hafta scope ur nose..' i'm like, ok.. wat's scope? n he said.. dun worry, it wun hurt, it will jus irritate u a little bit.. okay...he took out the thing, n i, who had a tiny bit of hi tech stuff equipment, recognised immediately that it's something that's gonna hurt.. well, it really did hurt alot.. the equip was fully metal.. n he put it in right up to the end of my nose..right after he took it out, my tears came down non stop.. really very painful.. i hate scoping.. n hafta scope the other nostril as well..='((( the worst thing is, while scoping, he's demonstrating to the trainees!

my tears only stopped like 10 mins later.. i frightened the doctor..definitely, cause he explained to me in very detail later on y he insist on scoping..he was worried if i have a tumor behind my nose..then he cleaned my ear with a very high-tech vacuum machine.. the feeling very nice wan! hehe..then oni he look into my ear again, n refer me to his professor..it seems my flu caused fluid in my ear.. so my ear got an infection and there's an air bubble in it..so, got my loads of medicine.. n went back to work.. yay.. leaving the hospital is the most enjoyable thing among all! hehe..

hmm.. i'm yearning for some fun... ppl pls plan somethin.. i wan some adventure! hehe.. ok tata, drowsy medicine taking over..Zzz...

i'm a criminal

mood = -9

Hmm.. had two bad days since.. now i'm starting to doubt if i'm wrong, doubt if i should apologize and come back to you.. y do i have to see you so often at this time? i feel like apologizing everytime i see your back..but coming to my senses, i dun get wat a big fault i did? i jus didnt come in any way of contact wit u for bout 5 hours or so..i didnt even throw temper like i use to..but the way u reacted is as if i killed somone..ok, i really did over react when it was jus a misunderstanding among us..so, it's my fault actually, i'm SORRY.. but i really dun un y u haf to say the things u said to me.. do u even remember wat u said? those things cut me again n again every moment, every second.. guess u forgot, u jus want to justify the fact that i'm wrong.. from the nite i hear the things ur friend said, i already knew i would get these words back at me..i already knew.. it's in ur mind already, that i'm nuthin but a nuisance.. u start putting the same words he said back at me..isit so easy to say these things? i'm a very nuisance but i would nvr go that far to say these things.. mayb we're really better off as friends.. maybe we're really jus pushing things through in the past, well, u dun noe me at all rite?

Jobful...

got a job... in uptown one... ENSR.. heard of?pay quite high, so once i heard of it, i went immediately.. 8 bucks an hour lehh...but after started workin,
feel tired.. so tiring.. sigh.. better let me rest soon.. hehhehe.. tata

OH NO>>>>

OH NO... i think i'm jobless... haha... all because i make no effort to look for a job.. and get toooo picky bout which one to take..i am sooo terrible.. yet staying at home is starting to bore me out..oh god, y am i soo lazy? wat shud i do now yea? anyways.. if u guys got any job recommendations.. please do not hesitate to contact me at my mobile number, u hav it rite? haha.. cya =p

Yum Yum

Guess u guys would know that i dun like bread.. and everything else that taste like it, for example muffin, pie, 'yao char kuai' and donuts... haha.. budden lately, i think i changed my mind abit.. Thanks To :



was strolling around curve wit family for no reason last saturday, when we saw a long queue.. curious, we went to see wat's up..


and i was really fascinated when i saw these :


my first thought: nope not delicious haha.. but pretty.. wowfully adorable! ^^
out of a sudden, my sis gave a shout to me, hey! there's durian flavour!
only then i had the urge to consume it..*evil grins*
show ya my favorite donut *proudly*



i hafta admit that it doesn't look delicious, but it sure taste that way.. love it <3

Happy hehe =p

Life

Life's a really weird thing, nothing is for sure.. then why are we doing the things we do? we study very hard, but we might not be successful, then why study? well, u might be successful, but not forever, u might lose everything in one day, then why be successful? we do things that are unsure in the future, claiming that we just wana be happy for the moment, but when the moment had passed, we deny everything we said before, and mourn forever..what's the whole point then?

Everything sounds so stupid.. it feels as if we shouldn't do anything at all.. because we hope, and then get disappointed.. then we should all just sit down whole day and die this way.. at least it's better than getting sad and disappointed over n over again? i am one of the stupid examples..see, i believe in horoscopes, so much till i'll skip class if they say i'll face danger if i go out today..but well, i hafta admit, the horoscopes never once came true.. yet till now i still believe in it.. stupid enuf?

People say, we must be able to put down something, don't mourn too much over it.. then if we prepare to put it down in everything we do, then we wouldn't have wanted it anymore.. 'u take something up to put it down?' sound so meaningless..

We have life principles, with things we swear that we'll never do, but what if people say and insist that you did it? what's the difference? it's like you did it anyway.. so why have life principles?At this moment, i have a great urge to be rotten, and feel if it's really that much more fun than us now..then perhaps i could tell you all about it

Sigh, nah.. i'm jus nagging abit here n there.. cause i feel like a failure.. at this moment.. nothing of me doing is right, is certain.. yet i'm so.. what's that word?practical? that explains why i feel damn insecure now.. in whatever way..no one will understand anyway.. they'll jus be annoyed by me.. and abandon me..

have a nice day then, ciao..

yesterday

i didnt work d, so.. am free.. kept sleeping today..maybe not enuf sleep last nite.. maybe i should learn some cookin.. dun feel well, very 'men'.. wei sab n meti doin wat a? contact me lah, in case i work agen next week.. k la, bye..

Now now...

hmm.. jus a quick update.. am workin d..at the offices next to eugene's hse in mayang emas there... i fall asleep everyday right after my dinner cause too exhausted by work... plus i haf a 'great' boss.. so u noe lah, how much i enjoy this job... dun forget ask me yumcha ya? i've got plenty to 'tell'... time to sleep, nite..

Freedom...

after struggling in between life n death, i survived the finals..times where i eat the same food everyday, n study my brain out of me... it's all over.. n now, i'm free.. but, really free.. this is jus my second day of hols.. but i've already tot since long ago bout wat should i do in hols.. job? wat job? have fun? wit who? nobody's free at this time.. i thought so much that i even dreamt of them.. about me workin, n then havin fun, karaoke, party all the way till things i wish to happen, and things that make me sad n disappointed.. the thing i hate about this dream is, it ended wit things that make me sad n disappointed... n so, i woke up feeling depressed this morning..

i haf somethin in my mind now, somethin that's encouraging me to do somethin cruel...i oni haf this one chance, to relieve us from suffering in the future.. part of me is so tempted to jus go wit it, but majority is stopping myself.. sigh, i always haf self conflicts.. this is soo annoying me out..sigh..

the weather's so hot, i forgot all those things i wanted to say jus now.. goodbye

OH SHIT

Oh shit she’s really getting on my nerves…I did nuthin that will cost her any loss in any way and I really dun get wats in her mind…A minute she was all excited asking me bout things she din understand, and a minute later I overheard her complaining to others about how annoying I am, bugging her.. n they laughed over me.. I dun get it, I dun get anything at all.. i hate it when I hear them gather n laugh, as I know they would always save a laugh for me.. I was jus sitting there reading my own stuff when she turned the standing fan towards her and fixed it that way. HELLO! I’m sitting here k? if it wasn’t that there’s no ceiling fan here, I wouldn’t have cared abit even if u ate up the whole fan.. and that is not even your fan.. GOD! now I noe how much it sucks when u’re having finals, there’s no one on ur side around u, there’s no one who’s willing to listen or talk to you, everyone else despise you, and you couldn’t even cry at nite as you have a roommate and u dun want to frighten her.. man, it really damn sucks being like this, keeping all to myself, haven’t talked properly to a soul for 24hours (thank god chi kheng came otherwise 2 weeks) now I better suck my tears back in case my roommate wakes up. Goodbye.

exams...

just finished Quantitative techniques exam this morning, and i already found out that i carelessly lost 10 marks in a question.. that doesn't feel good.. sigh, maths is my best subject!sigh..am feeling very lazy now, part of it because my shoulder hurt so much.. it always does when there's exam..psychological factor?dunno..great it's raining n i jus hanged my clothes.. now they're all wet.. man.. sleepy lah, maybe i go sleep a while.. no motivation d.. sigh..byez

sigh

I'm trapped in a circle
with no way out
time flies but nothing else
others repeat themselves

some words are said so easily
but nothing ever done
i waited so patiently
can they at least try?

is that it? is that a conclusion?
that all these were meant to disappoint me
was what i heard right?
that i'm just lying to myself

i cant give up i cant
but what should i do?
wish they were to consider me, give me a hand
it's still not too late, please try?

heyo...

Aiyoyo, y lah nobody gimme suggestion on wat to do wan har? non-responsive audience, grr... =p am really liking the song by gwen stefani - 4 in the morning, at first jus plainly liked it's melody, very special.. then when i looked at the lyrics, it's an emo one! instead of a bimbo one.. haha.. and it emos in a way that it's not ridiculous, and in every way, relevant.. yes i love emo stuffs, songs movies wateva, u tell me.. hehe.. as u all know, i emo almost all the time.. and when i watch or listen to those, i'll get less emoed, as they sorta in a way emoed on my part.. haha..

Anyway, that was all crap... back to serious business.. next week's my last lecture week, n then it'll b study week! exams comin up after that ler.. scary... but cant wait for 24th, hols! hehe...about frens, nuthin much.. met up wit my two pets beeky and meti.. it's been long since we really chatted.. but too bad this talk, is a serious one... i cant even remember how long ago we had one talk like this.. everyone was feeling depressed and sad, and helpless of course.. we each have probs and we share it, however, none of us noe wat to do wit them..sigh.. we even parted sadly..where's huan qing ar? wonder if she's even married already..

my accounts result is out! 51% for mid terms.. that's bad... rite? for mid term II i even scored 8 over 50! how bad is that? luckily my mid term I backed me up.. die lar.. am coughin more n more lately, n now i finally noe why.. when i have gastric, the acid is regurgitated to my throat, causing phlegm like substances..that's called gastro-something, i forgot, hehe...anyway, i'm still alive.. so dun bother...

oh ya! jus to inform u guys.. my area here up to balakong Jusco is a very dangerous area.. we hear bout rape n robbery cases almost every week! very very freaky.. my fren and her fren was walking out of jusco last Sunday, and suddenly, a malay guy came out and wanted to drag her fren away, she n her fren resisted and she pulled back with all might.. until an uncle passed by, then the guy ran off..but, before he left, he punched my fren's face ler! and my fren's face is blue black now..so scary huh? scary...so, be careful if u guys tot of visiting me here (impossible) or have the thought of goin to green box over here k?

Sorry Eugene, din celebrate ur bday wit you.. sigh... trust me, i have the thought too, but circumstances came up.. and u should noe, my planning skills sucks.. will try to compensate k? NO! no belanja exp stuff ya.. hehe..WELL, do hope ur wishes come true, and u be less stressful k? am resisting to say this, but really missed yong and kien hou, they're such heartless ppl.. sigh..

k that's all for today, thank you class! dismiss! =p

Tagged (blamin Karl) =p

Instructions
Bold the statements that are true to you.
Italicize the statements that you WISH are true.

I’m 170cm tall.
I don’t know what I want at the moment.
I’m not happy.
I hate my friends.
I hate my life.
I hate my grades.
He drives.
I’m bored of driving.
I have a white handbag.
I love dancing.
I go clubbing every week.
Shopping is bullshit.
I have a tattoo of a star.
I got my navel pierced.
I have friends that take drugs.
90% of my friends smoke

I still hang out with my ex, even though our break up was rather nasty. (break-up wasn't nasty..)
I’m studying Fashion.
I have a business running.
I hate cartoons.
I hate someone.
I have 10 Guess handbags.
I buy CLEO every month.
My parents don’t know about my blog.
I have an iPod.
I don’t have faith in the current “one”.
My college mates knows about my blog.
I wanted to be a fashion designer.
I love rock emo bands.
I hate it when people cancel last minute meet ups (hintin:me)
I’m a rebel.
I’m starting to like wearing dresses.
I don’t believe in love.
High school was filled with drama. (Plentiful)
My parents have faith in me.
I’ve bought shoes this month.
A blogger bitched about me before.
I hate sports.
I heart Italian food.
I hate meeting new people.
I hate nail polish.
The mother bear gives me hugs.
People would start appreciating me.
High school was the worst time of my life.
I have red hair.
One Utama is my second home.
I miss hanging out with the bloggers.
I’m a guy.
I’m scared of my Biology exam which I’m going to face tomorrow.
I hate vacations.
We’ll last.
I believe in long distance relationships.
I’m going to get high and smoke weed in US.
I’ve robbed an old lady.
Host a talk show.
That Guess watch.
I’m starting to like applying make-up.
I was a tomboy.
At time I think I still am a tomboy.
I love bitching about people behind their backs.
I still have a best friend.
I have a cat.
I hate surprise parties.
I hate planning parties.
I’m hot.
I’m a sinner.
I’ve got a DS light.
I have a Wii.
I can live without music.
Video games are a waste of time.
I miss the father bear.
I love being in love.
I know how to cook.
I have 100% freedom.
Boys are assholes.
I hate Math.
I’m happy with what I have.
I love horror films.
I slept in my parents’ room for 3 days after watching Scream when I was a kid.
My old friends keep in touch with me.
I don’t read newspapers.
The news is such a waste of time.
Blogging is a waste of time.
I hate animals.(precisely highlighting dogs)
I can’t live without make-up.
I curse like a pirate.
I’m happy with my 11 year old car.
I hate people that are smart.
I love Orange juice.
I can’t drink for nuts.
I believe that everyone in their teens have lost their virginity.
I’ve got a new phone. (new designs are so tempting me)
I’m going to get a new pair of shoes by the end of this month.
I love swimming.
I haven’t worked out since March (it meant exercising rite? so true)
I think I’m fat.
I love my friends and family.

hey hey...

Thank god this week's been fine so far... havent felt so relaxed in a long long time.. hehe.. now that i have the mood, i feel so excited to do anything at all! but see, my prob here is i cant figured out wat to do.. hehe.. i mean when i'm free la.. can gimme suggestions? am watchin heroes currently, and am so addicted to kyle XY! i really love that show! n by the way, for yumchas this week, can book time wit me first anot? so that this would lower down the probability of ffk i guess? hehe! take care guys.. ciow!

Invisible

I am a nobody
as i belong no where
this strong wind
brought me this far away

I am insignificant
dun deny it please
u forgot our promise
u left me behind

I am a loner
but you disgust me
whatever i do is wrong
i do not understand it

I am forgotten
each day i lose myself more n more
i am the loser
the loser is me

sigh.. it's jus a bad bad day...

all in all, the main point here is about this tragic incident of mine.. haha, not that nostalgic actually.. but it is in fact, embarassing la.. aiyoyo...

today was formal day, so i wore heels.. n while descending the stairs in uni, i slipped n slid down the stairs..no, not anythin like fell at all.. it's like my waist hit the stairs n i slid all the way to the bottom..till i hit the bottom, precisely.. n immediately, i felt my waist burnin, elbow too, it scratched the stairs.. sadisticly speaking, there were many ppl around.. n my friend was in such a horror that she couldn't speak till 5 mins after she hold me up..ppl in front were tryin to help me, but when i was sliding, they of course, hafta get out of my way... sigh..this is indeed a painful n embarassing day.. as i wore specs n tied my hair today, i'm nvr gonna wear specs while tying my hair till two weeks later.. jus in case anyone recognised me.. i sure don't want anyone whispering:neh, that's the girl who fell terribly the other day.. no no no..

nite nite ^^

OMDG...Give Me A Break...

TIRED...are the five letters non-stop running through my head...of all things, i hafta sleep after two again..haven't slept any earlier for a week adey.. n i'm really very very tired, to the point that i could cry...

firstly, would like to mention abit about my appeal to local uni.. UM called me to offer me Biochem.. oo, how good is that? mom was super happy.. again.. she was also happy when i decided to get into UTAR..now i've got such a short period of time till 20th to decide whether to accept this offer...again, mom would really want me to.. me, after going through difficulties of adapting, is a bit in a phobia state right now..i better think thrice..

n then.. i came back on sat, right at the moment i finished my exam, mom called me to tell me she would pick me, early.. am very very happy.. we ate nandos! xiu hui, our fav of all times..that nite.. went steamboat as an occassion to celebrate wei wen's bday.. wasnt suppose to come back this week, but want to n did to.. for him.. haha..well, i'm glad it turned out well, havent laughed that much in a very long time..thanks eugene.. again..know u would start helpin me less in the future as i'm startin to get annoyin d, but very very thankful indeed for all u've done to help me..really..

but after all, i'm such a failure.. everythin done by me, fails pathetically.. man, i'm a real loser..remembered the mornin of the day b4 my exam the most..i already have cuts on me everyday for being careless, there're plaster on me all the time, each time at a diff place.. n i could just spilled my last cup of milk that mornin.. not to mention that i have no other food left,the spilt milk got over all the drawers.. i wiped damn long a time*cursing myself as well*..i feel so stupid, with such insufficient time to study, i could jus so smartly waste more time *triple smack on my head* thanks karl alot, for making me laugh at that moment, curing my tears and distracting me from my frustrations..and also mr.naughty boy, for letting me throw the temper and yell at you..it helped alot too <3

spent half a day of sunday for my future entertainments.. uploading stuffs into my thumbdrive to be brought back..a relaxed sunday..was startin to feel lucky n happy again..went for wey yiing's bday celebration then.. i felt happy indeed, after all, i couldnt really trust anyone at uni..it was different..i felt so home wit secondary frens..=) however, felt very bad as i promised to acocmpany mom to eat durians in ss2 at 9.. but only to reach home at 10.30..the stalls were closing, n we could only grab three packets of it back..spent such little time wit mom already, and i could jus break another promise, sigh

well, as i have been suspecting, luck does not stand on my side.. how could i be this happy? n it did came..mom fell in the toilet..i was in shock when she told me that she felt her rib bone in a weird position..but i tried to stay calm, except that i'm such an asshole with no patience that i sternly speaked to her when she complained too much..i really couldn't control..i was already so tired..me n sis rushed her to damansara specialist hospital...many weird things flashed through my mind on the way there.. 99% of them are stupid stuffs..biggest part of it, regreting not spending more time wit mom..part of the 99%, thinkin of stayin single for the rest of my life if anythin happens to mom..

doctore said it was a fracture of the rib bone, thank god that it would heal itself..jus hafta be really careful..was panicking b4 this about wat if there has to be a surgery..by the time we got back, it was already two..after that shock, i jus hafta talk to someone.. n i couldnt..that's where this blog came into place.. as i've said b4, it's really my best friend..i could think of many names to talk to.. but none fitted into the slot..i wanted to cry, just to relieve myself, but it wouldve frighten my family..hmm..

although stress din end this weekend, but meeting these two days, is really a very happy thing indeed, that's exactly what i needed.. seriously but weirdly, i'm very touched for u guys made me laugh this much..i feel nostalgic everytime i thought bout it..thank you ppl

shucks,i still have law homework, after the exam on sat.. wonderin if i could survive that another uni week starts tomolo again..hope i could get more rest this week..Buddha please bless me..

Haven’t had an emo blog since dunno how long ago.. but couldn’t help it..now that I’m out here alone, I really dun have anyone to turn to..feelin exceptionally lonely when the person I lean on jus threw it on me..hating myself jus doesn’t help much.. but cant refrain from it..really feelin very lonely..and this is pms expecting time frame..this is wat happens when u depend on someone too much..small tempers from me is being hated already.. and you really succeeded in making me feel super bad after the bad tempers..it scares me that ppl here that u couldn’t trust depends on u, while those u depend on gets annoyed of u..wat should I do? Question mark..

Finally a bit after soo long..

Jus had two exams yesterday, think i dun wana continue that window story.. since it had been sooo long ago and there's nuthin fun talkin about it to myself here... haha..maybe when i meet u guys la.. haha.. story's not that interesting anyway...

went JUSCO nearby yesterday, one of my housemate got car, n it's very kind of her to take us out to chill abit after the super stressing mode we've tuned into past few days.. ^^but honestly, i tot this was a valley, and never ever would believe that there's actually a shopping mall with cinema in it nearby.. yea, catch those bold words..imagine how shock i was.. haha...

but well, dunno since when i jus could not get into shopping mode.. nope, not even close to it..maybe since i was superbly broke?? maybe that's only one of the reasons..i think mostly because my perception of look has changed.. NO, not that it changed into seafood style.. it's just that i'm so not into the mood of looking good, u noe? i go to uni in a rush everyday that i forget to comb my hair b4 classes almost five days a week..lucky i haf short n straight hair, so my fingers could help in those desperate situation.. haha..so naughty boy dun hafta worry bout guys here, none would like a messy ugly girl like me.. haha..but it's just sooo weird on how much of dislike i feel about walkin around lookin at clothes n shoes.. i just CANT enjoy it!

however, i enjoy food a little more these days.. stayin here is actually fun...bcause u get to focus on studies while havin fun wit frens..variety of food here is just so mini, but well, if u haf the mood, or naughty boy said nice things that day, i could really eat gulps of them..nope, din exaggerate that =p BUT weather here is like those of deserts! SO HOT!i sweat like 24-7 even in the uni..and ppl who knew me would noe that i could hardly sweat! yup, it's that bad... but again, if u're in good mood, n u feel cool, u feel cool.. get it? hehe...

learned to do many houseworks...ok, no one's allowed to laugh..i could juggle them real good i guess, but there's jus too much to do that i feel as if i'm FOREVER doing house work...man..i haf so little entertainment hours these days.. only during meals where we watch shows for bout an hour on laptop (imagine living without it! THANKS Eugene!) or when naughty boy calls me..maybe i'll have more entertainment hours when i master the art of doing houseworks later, later k.. not so soon, haha..

oh, bet u guys would've asked me d..nope, i still cant cook..(not to mention i cant crack eggs) i jus cant la, maybe it's not my thing.. or i jus dun wana do it wit ppl around.. after all, my style of cooking seems a bit weird (hintin: messy) i seriously dun wan professionals here to laugh at me.. though they already did, their comment: how useless could a person be? to not noe how to cook? sigh... i'll try la..but not now, i'm still suffering from the houseworks crisis.. oh, not forgetting exams too..

talkin bout expenses, it gives me the biggest headache ever...did accounts for my mom's inspection this week..and i spent bout 90 bucks! it's like super overbudget! but if u look at my account, it jus doesnt look it, except from the total value at the bottom.. sigh..i am really very very careful in spending (as my name says it), but in many situations, i jus dun hav a choice...not to mention that my fren here is always cooking for me, n i hafta compensate her cooking materials..well, home cook materials are just more more than of eating outside..sigh, n it feels ever so weird when she jus couldnt balance her account and hafta claim money from me..wat could i say or do?hmmm... will try to fix a stricter budget line this coming week..

oh, dun hafta worry bout my health... THANK BUDDHA my cough recovered bout a week ago..and i could eat stuff i like again!yes i will still control..but i haf this weird muscle aching thing over my neck when i was in the exam.. and it immediately disappeared when the exam ended.. some says the cause is not enuf sleep (slept late woke up at 5 to study), some says it's mental stress.. well i dunno..but it hurts soooo much i could cry...

naughty boy's calls have been an essential these days.. well, sometimes i jus really need someone to talk to.. and my mom calls ever so little..it has only been 6 weeks, and the frens problem came up already (shockingly, part of the prob is similar to neesha's), well, i don't tell or talk to anyone except to my housemate about how i feel..some ppl are jus so evil n manipulative.. and they are so stupid to think that others are stupid.. haha.. actually, addressing me.. all of them had a perception that i'm this quiet thoughtless girl who's blur n ignorant towards everything.. good! as it prevented them from messing wit me but my housemate, sigh..sometimes those ppl jus kept pushing us into very bad situations while my fren here begs for my advice gives me the strongest stress jab..and here's where naughty boy's call plays a part, though we dun talk about those problems, but that's exactly wat i needed =)

i'll be having one more exam this comin saturday, hopefully it's early that day, then i could come back to meet u guys! will tell u guys k.. take care ^^
p.s. dun worry suk teng, i wun book ur seat for Transformers =p

okay, let's start..

was rushin assigments, but when went to see doctor, she said i have fever, and gave me another day's leave..so, take some time to write this.. hehe..

well, i went with my many cousins and uncles and aunty...apparently, only on aunty went, haha.. the first day was quite tiring.. we took off from lcct airport boarding our 99cents air plane to kuala terengganu.. was expecting a hassle when i reached there, as we hafta take cab to the jeti, which was quite a distance..surprisingly, there was a bus to fetch us there! woohoo! was feelin abit up, budden was flushed when we hafta wait for the boat for 3 hours!grr.. all thanks to the stupid tour that was with us.. we were suppose to be on the 9.30 boat,when we reached there at 9.00.. alas, that stupid called 'bb club' tour arrived late, and missed the big boat.. as we're scheduled with them, we hafta wait till 12.00 for the next big boat! grr.. i'll mark them!
during the boat journey, i kept running to the small place outside with my couz thanks to claustraphobicness.. haha.. somewhat, hoping to see dolphines too, but was unlucky i guess..

okay, continue..when we reached there, i was a bit disappointed.. traces of pollution were so obvious around the jetty.. my heart was exclaiming:tioman was so much prettier! seriously, it is..for those who've been there would noe.. from the jetty, u couls already see tons of coral fishes swimming around.. but redang jetty, few i guess? oh well, proceeded to the resort.. mine was laguna.. they say it's da best around there..

well, settled down a bit n off to the shore! fishes are so easy to be seen(if not mentioning tioman) haha..the feeling there was great! as there are many ppl around.. three resorts are linked together by this beach, so they're more ppl than u noe..

okay, i'm getting abit drowsy d, mdicine..let's cut long story short to only interesting parts..the buffet meals was great! lots of variety.. bla bla bla..

highlights! went to marine park to snorkel.. god! this was my first so up close experience..so many fishes were practically touching me while swimming.. well, when they touch u, it felt like little scratches..and when i got up, there were fish bite marks on my stomach..but water aint that clear...saw a huge garoupa! he is ssoooo ssslllooowww and lazy.. haha..

next, oh! not not forgetting night life there! as 3 resorts are linked! there were so many ppl around.. so me, sis n couz went resort hoping! 1st, 'redang reef resort blue sand beach' it reads.. we were wondering wat's up wit the blue sand thing, nvr heard bout it b4.. then we saw many ppl surrounding the small patch of beach at the corner.. then we saw ppl scratchin the sand with fingers, then we saw it! the sand glowed in blue! it was at night k, so, we pratically saw little blue lights.. and then,i tried myself! and i could actually pick them(blue lights) up! it was an amazing experience, u 'll feel as if u're in harry potter era..and by eavesdropping, i came to know that they're actually fish food, as in light creating planktons.. oo.. budden someone said:in this case, are they worms? bliek, i immediately fling the sand i was holding and ran off.. next stop! haha..

next was redang beach resort, night life there was hot! haha.. there were a stage like dance floor with many ppl dancing on it, plus... disco ball and blinkin lights! how cool was that! dancing on da beach k? with the super many stars above (i spotted a north set of star, forgot it's name, the one that looks like a bucket thing?nvm..) from time to time, the host will go up the stage and teach a new set of dance, we followed, haha.. lame but fun! it was really fun.. while ppl barbeque all around..my recommendation, stay there if in big groups! haha..

as this is a 3days 2 night trip, i was really not enuff! well, it rained heavily through the nite and in da mornin! the sea was sooo clear! till then i realised that the sea was murky b4 because of the weather..i swam for the last time, felt like a mermaid, really schools of fishes around us.. plus water so clear! great trip, love sea! (besides the got choked up part)..

kk gtg sleep, cant take it anymore.. will make extra ammendments when i'm awake! nite..

It is that beautiful!

am back ! however, i'm dreadfully sick since.. have been absent from classes for two days already.. budden am worrying will i be unfit to go to uni yet again tomolo? well, u see.. i was snorkeling when my breathing tube went loose, and i chocked on big gulps of sea water..(sea water there are really many times more salty than those in west coast) my throat is so dam burnin now ='( am drafting updates but would be slow, cause of assignments and my health condition.. tsk tsk..scared la if cannot catch up in classes.. oh, and am shifting there this fri..hope my condition quickly improves.. it sucks being like this..bb

=> Highlight to read

hmm.. quite lazy n timeless actually..but, jus drop by to update a bit :

1. i'm still driving and are frequently late for classes..conclusion:cant get a room yet.. so stressed..ppl jus keep babbling at ur ear, not knowing that u really tried very hard n owes every new fren big big favors already..(1st sigh)

2. i have lots of assignments already.. i like doing homeworks.. really.. but nuthin to do with law
please, i jus dislike it...(2nd sigh)

3. i actually have a group of new frens..very grateful to them, they are very nice people
indeed..(-2nd sigh)

4. am going to redang on thurs! that's the sole thing that can cheer me up lately..(- 1st sigh)

5. i have someone feeling very angry and disappointed towards me, and for the first time i dun
understand, and dunno wat to do or say..i feel lost, (one & only sigh)

k la, see you guys soon again.. bye..

Uni uni..

jus bit bit of updates so far..well, uni was jus ok..people were much more friendly and not lala as i thought they would be.. haha..i was as usual very afraid n therefore put on a cold face+told myself there's nuthin wrong sitting alone..budden ppl jus walk up to me askin 'r u alone?' or 'hi i'm...' my reaction:great! yay new frens jus lidat! they are very very nice ppl indeed.. n definitely look so much younger than me..

it's quite a joke that i'm older than many others there,thanks to form six..n i'll be meeting back ppl i once know when i was in ktar, as my seniors.. man.. how embarassing..but one thing! n the most important thing is....... omg! on overall, those seniors are cool and cute! as in goodlooking..unexpectedly i should say *giggles*

bad news are, sigh.. my timetable is a big mess, having classes that gaps 3 hours! n 2 days till 8!sigh.. this shows that i hafta find a room there immediately..sigh..it'll b so boring,no com, no tv,no nuthin.. wat a life...


k lazy to write d, here's karl's tag, it's easy! and i like it! : 5 things
5 Things found in your bag:
1. Wallet
2. Water bottle
3. Notebook
4. Eyedrop
5. Tissue

5 Things found in your purse/wallet
1. IC
2. Malaysia Ringgit
3. Expired California Fitness VIP card
4. Sticker Pics of Me n Frens
5. Driving License

5 Favourite things in your room
1. AIRCOND!
2. Bed
3. My Little Pillows
4. New Drawer from IKEA =p
5. Victoria's Secret lotion from Xiu Hui (karl nope, no heater.. haha)

5 Types of humans (agree tat this is weird..)
1. Angelic
2. Beast
3. Neutral
4. Genuine
5. Fake

5 Things you've always wanted to do
1. Travel to many different countries
2. Tryout some talent competition =p
3. Own a laptop
4. Speak French
5. Migrate from Malaysia *nodz*

5 Things you're currently into
1. Talking
2. Mapling
3. Sleeping
4. Lazing
5. Daydreaming

(Who didn't see that list coming?)

People you tag (Ngiek ngiek..)
1. Submarine
2. Meti

update update

life has been normal n slow lately, till i dun really haf anythin to update bout..not workin d, but got this job offer of 3 days from my agency..so, no harm wit extra $$ rite? hehe..it's a function held by public bank yesterday, friday n saturday..i'm gonna be somewhat a counter person.. help ppl check in at sunway hotel.. haha..weirdly,i like counter jobs..

and oh! oh! 林宇中 is comin! to 1u! yay! thanks to sisters' constant promotion activities of him, i haf a good impression of him d.. in fact, his few songs really kept me addicted..he's gonna be in 1u this sat at 3 in new wing ler! yay! can get there after my job that day..

hmm.. nuthin much d, besides my new bad habit..i tend to grind my teeth VERY LOUDLY when i'm asleep..i myself was awakened by it! not forgettin my mom n sisters too.. haha..dunno where mom got this info, but she says when ppl does this habit, their mouth hafta be hit by a slipper..and yes, she surprisingly did that to me the next night when i was grinding my teeth..yes, i got the shock of my life..

this habit occurs because of stress, i really feel dam stressed up these days..dun really noe why,guess it's the utar thing again.. sigh.. when will these tortures end..i haf great difficulties falling asleep these days..n when i could sleep, i would grind my teeth n be awakened by the hit of a magic slipper..grrr...

nuthin much d, cya!

Yang 'IN' punya..

HaHa.. Dunno whether my title understandable anot.. it means latest stuff la, u noe..i mean, u understand rite? nvm.. =p

hmm.. Jus ended my job at michelin last week..and loads of things came up straight after it.. from my relatives stayin here, to teachin cousin, to the most superbly frustratin thing! uni stuff.. grr.. utar bill's due date was saturday.. i was struggling on whether to go.. well, heart already said no! no! n it looks like as if there were many other routes..when my mom had already fixed oni one way out for me..darn..i felt as if trapped.. i so so so dun wan.. n i dunno y i jus dun want to, like bad prediction or somethin.. rebelious? nah, it's like the claustraphobic part comin out of me..strangling me or something.. phew, how to breathe man?

haihz.. so when she was waking me up tat miserable mornin, i am 100%ly trying to fool myself that it's jus a dream.. n i did, woke up late.. added up with those weird ppl fixing road on a saturday noon causing a big jam jus adds on my guilt.. when i reached there, the office was already closed.. well, of course i get blames n scoldings.. sigh.. n i actually felt relived it happened this way.. but this means i hafta do more.. mom wun let me out of this.. hafta go back there to settle it on mon morn..

gotta pull my butt out of my bed that mornin, 7.30am on a non-workin mon mornin! walau! i felt as if i'm a walkin zombie..supposed to go there alone.. well, mom workin, younger sis got drivin exam, hafta drop elder sis at her uni on the way there.. luckily wei wen agreed to accompany me there.. or else i would NEVER! NEVER do it!hmmph..haihz.. at 9.00, i was already there..but damn! once they saw my overdued bill, they told me immediately that they cant do anythin, n i hafta write an appeal letter n settle it in pj utar.. grrrrrrrrrr....i felt like barkin at that moment..

i mean, i am already feeling soooo bad for goin against my heart n now, another thing? argh... well, lucky wei wen's here to help me draft it... ooookkkkkaaayyyy then..wrote a long n tedious excuse then head towards pj utar to settle it! at that time i was startin to worry, whether they would accept it? not that i'm freaked out on havin no place to study o somethin, more like 'shit if i dun get this done, my mom would fry me alive!' well, luckily.. they jus accepted it like a normal procedure..like wei wen say, they're jus frightenin me..was really relieved...mom would keep me alive.. sigh.. in another part, i officially got myself stucked.. haihz..

i really really dunno y i felt so bad about this, i really dun.. sigh..maybe bcause i hope for a plce with more english practised? it's like i'm 100% ly confident that even if i dun use my mandarin, it'll still be as good as new (use this correct anot ar?) but i'm oso 100%ly sure that if i dun pratice my english, it'll be gone forever... n the people there gave me a feeling of me not being able to mix with them.. ya, i feel intimidated..ppl say it easily, jus choose ur course n dun care too much bout where u're goin.. but i really really cant face it man.. although i solved a prob, that is settled where to go, but i am increasedly worried.. argh, scared la, i really am...

sigh......it starts on the 23rd..i oni haf like a week to enjoy? sigh... goodbye man...sigh...

oh, nearly forgot the being tagged thing.. i think i dun really enjoy this topic.. haha.. cause i jus had a simple little answer? y do i blog? to express my feelings at least to someone when there's no one around me that i could express to lo..i'm not that good in expressin my feelings using the talkin way la, dunno y.. k la, bye bye..

Tired...

jus came back from wesak day's procession.. actually left an off9 message for kw but dunno he got receive anot, so wana wish him here :

HAPPY BURSTDAY KWOK WEI !!!

may u reach ur following bdays faster! *as in grow old faster* hehe.. & stay happy always.. *not so important*



HuGs...=p

My Tooth Extraction 记

b4 i start.. i wana do this first.. woooooohoooooooooo...='( it's so painful k!!! wooo hooooooooo... ok can start d, hehe..

went to extract my teeth again this mornin.. cause my new wisdom tooth got no more space to come out d.. so gotta pull out if not al my teeth will senget.. n this time, she said the teeth was much bigger, till i can feel the pain during the surgery.. actually i dun think i can blog much..i feel very lethargic.. she also said this time i bleed more, n therefore my face will swell more.. ='( i gotta go work on mon ler! cry cry cry..........................

oh ya, i met meru while buyin food during lunch, sommore coincidentaly wei wen came to see me yesterday, hehe.. it seems she took over my old job in fedex.. so good! it was a fun job.. jus on9in.. haha.. ok i gotta go rest.. the painkiller slowly losing effect liao.. ='( will show u guys the teeth soon ^^

Suk Han = spoil planner and bad girl

haihz..just realised that i've spoiled a beautiful plan..i'm always like this.. spoiling plans with my not smart intuition.. still remember it's like my thing to not turn up at birthday parties at the last minute..think it's a kind of phobia thing? cause everytime i'm prepared and waiting to go for an occasion, i get soo anxious that it turns into fear, n make me feel like not going already.. i even sweat alot (when usually i hardly ever sweat)..haihz.. i will try to b more alert n not so blur the next time.. sigh..

new future plans, *i am so desperate* everything i think of everyday is ways of how to not stay far from home.. i am such a baby.. so i've came up with new and improved plans.. but not confirmed it will work yet :

1) go back to ktar and take the advanced diploma cum CIMA course, which gives even more exemptions than the bachelor degree itself, known as the most exempted CIMA papers course in malaysia.. ok, skip all those excuses, at least i get to stay home n travel by lrt everyday k? hehe..

2) life college my aunt recommended run by church ppl, it's in pj and the last year is done in
australia or uk, i like the sound of it =p hehe.. weird rite? it's like i dun mind stayin far from
home if it's really far away.. it's all in the mind lar.. haha..

3) last n final plan, UTAR lar... think so much for wat, jus get through it quick in those 3 years
lo.. at least i wun b jobless in da future rite? aiyoyo..

ok.. so wat u ppl think? which one better ler? aiya, u all oso dunno wan, ask u all for wat? cheh.. haihz, tomolo work again.. sommore gotta eat lunch alone =( =( =( after resting n lying for long hours, my waist ache is gone liao, but hope it wun b back lar.. if not, confirm it's a psychological thing d.. haha..

Hoo hoo..*cryin*

came back from work early again today.. dunno wat's wrong with me.. my waist hurt to the extent that i feel like crying..the only cure.. lie down all the time.. i realise everytime i lie down for bout 3 hours, i get a few hours of no pain...but how can i continue living like this? with so many things on my mind that i haven't settle yet, plus i hafta work ler.. boss asked me to extend today.. pity her la.. i hafta work.. sigh..wonderin wat's wrong, isit a sign of osteoporosis? well, waist is considered lower back.. or isit kidney failure?well, for it, the pain is either at the side or back.. or isit that i just twisted my waist?or isit diarrhea? haihz.. worried la.. pain again.. lucky din go out wit beeky n meti..if not when i sweat out of pain then will frighten them.. *nodz*

Bu Shu Fu =(

went back home from work early yesterday, wasn't feeling well... beeky should noe y hehe..so, today oso on leave.. but they didn't give me my workplace number.. so..at 10, the agency called me, and thn i hafta wake up, search their number on the net, n give my boss a call..she's so nice, not mad at all.. bet the person who complained is that too free lady who knocked on my table when i'm smsing.. grr...but they gave wei wen bout one week+ leave, =( i gotta work n eat alone.. so sad.. no motivation to work d..but at least i wun b going toilet so much la, haha..

haihz.. but still very frustrated over uni stuff..currently, anyway is a bad way.. in the first place, nuthin can make me feel secure bout this choice..i've always wanted somethin fun.. but the practical side of me jus wun allow me.. it's jus all self confict goin on now.. sigh.. wonder how u guys have prepared adey for unis..i'm so lost myself.. wonderin if u guys r doin great, or stucked like me.. sigh.. k le, still not feelin well, tata..

job job

Your Career Personality: Brainy, Logical, and Efficient

Your Ideal Careers: Archeologist Astronomer Book editor Business manager Civil engineer Designer Economist Inventor Judge Scientist

The Quick and Dirty Career Test

copied this from beeky's site.. liked it, but alas! no accountant lar... aiyoyo...

Sigh...

Always soo tired n got no mood to blog actually, but jus tryin to complain a bit i guess.. damn work, made me realise how unsure am i towards my choice of courses, and i realised no one could help me wit it.. they themselves dun even noe wat to tell u, or perhaps might be thinkin 'even i myself was not so picky' and ignored me.. i think i would like studyin accountancy, but i would hate to live in a live, forced to do those same audits n accounts everyday from early mornin till late night surviving on bread during lunch + without using any thinkin skills...i want a job, using more of creativity, leadership, those who would appreciate my ideas, my jokes, my analysing skills at least (jus bcause i think that that's the only good thing i have,?)

no need ask, i still cant figure out wat.. other courses gave me an impression that i wun b able to get any job out of it.. i soooo annoy myself.. plus i'm startin to perhaps, regret somethin i did, maybe i really am not prepared for it, i am such a selfish n calculative person with somewhat ego n unstable mood swings.. how could i even consider that i could share a little somethin with someone?i would only hurt them, then myself..yet i did it, and dragged another person along into this deep trench (dun even noe if i'm spelling it correctly) stupid..*sigh*