Now now...

hmm.. jus a quick update.. am workin d..at the offices next to eugene's hse in mayang emas there... i fall asleep everyday right after my dinner cause too exhausted by work... plus i haf a 'great' boss.. so u noe lah, how much i enjoy this job... dun forget ask me yumcha ya? i've got plenty to 'tell'... time to sleep, nite..

Freedom...

after struggling in between life n death, i survived the finals..times where i eat the same food everyday, n study my brain out of me... it's all over.. n now, i'm free.. but, really free.. this is jus my second day of hols.. but i've already tot since long ago bout wat should i do in hols.. job? wat job? have fun? wit who? nobody's free at this time.. i thought so much that i even dreamt of them.. about me workin, n then havin fun, karaoke, party all the way till things i wish to happen, and things that make me sad n disappointed.. the thing i hate about this dream is, it ended wit things that make me sad n disappointed... n so, i woke up feeling depressed this morning..

i haf somethin in my mind now, somethin that's encouraging me to do somethin cruel...i oni haf this one chance, to relieve us from suffering in the future.. part of me is so tempted to jus go wit it, but majority is stopping myself.. sigh, i always haf self conflicts.. this is soo annoying me out..sigh..

the weather's so hot, i forgot all those things i wanted to say jus now.. goodbye

OH SHIT

Oh shit she’s really getting on my nerves…I did nuthin that will cost her any loss in any way and I really dun get wats in her mind…A minute she was all excited asking me bout things she din understand, and a minute later I overheard her complaining to others about how annoying I am, bugging her.. n they laughed over me.. I dun get it, I dun get anything at all.. i hate it when I hear them gather n laugh, as I know they would always save a laugh for me.. I was jus sitting there reading my own stuff when she turned the standing fan towards her and fixed it that way. HELLO! I’m sitting here k? if it wasn’t that there’s no ceiling fan here, I wouldn’t have cared abit even if u ate up the whole fan.. and that is not even your fan.. GOD! now I noe how much it sucks when u’re having finals, there’s no one on ur side around u, there’s no one who’s willing to listen or talk to you, everyone else despise you, and you couldn’t even cry at nite as you have a roommate and u dun want to frighten her.. man, it really damn sucks being like this, keeping all to myself, haven’t talked properly to a soul for 24hours (thank god chi kheng came otherwise 2 weeks) now I better suck my tears back in case my roommate wakes up. Goodbye.

exams...

just finished Quantitative techniques exam this morning, and i already found out that i carelessly lost 10 marks in a question.. that doesn't feel good.. sigh, maths is my best subject!sigh..am feeling very lazy now, part of it because my shoulder hurt so much.. it always does when there's exam..psychological factor?dunno..great it's raining n i jus hanged my clothes.. now they're all wet.. man.. sleepy lah, maybe i go sleep a while.. no motivation d.. sigh..byez

sigh

I'm trapped in a circle
with no way out
time flies but nothing else
others repeat themselves

some words are said so easily
but nothing ever done
i waited so patiently
can they at least try?

is that it? is that a conclusion?
that all these were meant to disappoint me
was what i heard right?
that i'm just lying to myself

i cant give up i cant
but what should i do?
wish they were to consider me, give me a hand
it's still not too late, please try?