Why? wHy? whY?

dunno y but i jus feel like askin why.. more like y lidat? nvm, i'm swtin myself here2..hadn't update for bout a week, not because i'm too busy with something, more like too lazy to do anythin! i've became sooo lazy.. i really really eat sleep com everyday!! not to say i'm not bored of it, but called agency n it's engaged, so gotta wait for another tomoro..sigh.. my tummy is soooo big.. thanks to the amount of sleepin.. =S

but anyway, didn't feel much happier these days, more of counting down towards the days when i'll be far away, gone.. i've became such a loser lately.. as if forgotten how i use to be.. will think too much when i'm alone.. but usually, not worried bout anythin except my future, which country i would travel to.. my career? haha.. always wondering will i really be gone, feelingless when i die someday? is human's existence really plain phenomenal reaction? weird hor..

sigh, but now, there's like this something extra that i will be worried of, and always..like an extra part of my life.. everytime, i just cant understand wat's going wrong.. everytime i will feel very frustrated of being unable to do anything about it.. and then feel guilty of trying to avoid thinking of it.. play com games, search for new interesting ones, even download them.. so, i apologise here if i replied u ppl on msn very late or not at all.. well, the games are full screen..

sigh.. addition: i am sooo not understanding.. no matter in watever condition.. i jus cant pretend to be nice or say something like i understand, dun worry..bcause i always think that if there's a problem, u should nvr nvr avoid it.. and that's wat i did! wah.. confusing myself liao man..haihz.. and i suck in consoling ppl.. well, jus hope that the agency girl would get me a job quick, then tireness would take control over my time? =)